I’m not going to say that I write beautifully, but I know that in some of my projects, my sentences have been prettier than my stories.
I have painstakingly written “lovely” sentences that lead through a plot and, 45,000 words later, there’s a book.
My sentences rocked.
My story?
Not so much.
The idea was interesting.
The characters were interesting.
But the story fizzled.
“How is that possible?” I wailed.
Thomas Mann said, “A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”
I won’t even pretend that I’ve read anything by Thomas Mann, but I love this quote.
I’ve had my books edited by real editors…who edit for a living.
I’ve been told that I write really well, with so many pretty turns of phrase and lyrical sentences.
What they neglected to tell me was that pretty writing does not equal a good story.
What’s the saying? “All hat, no cowboy.” (Is it “cattle”? I like “cowboy”.)
Here, let me pull one out one of those pretty phrases from one of my manuscripts: “…the audacious scree of a gull.”
In the scene, I had a 12-year-old girl who was grieving the death of her mother and simmering in anger over the botched relationship she had with her father who just didn’t understand her desire to start living again.
Anyway, there she was at the beach one evening, nearly alone except for a few stragglers—and she wanted to be alone.
The mood was sad and angry, until the air was filled with “the audacious scree of a gull.”
Gosh, I was proud of that line.
But my story was written for 8-12-year-olds.
In what world does anyone that age understand “the audacious scree of a gull”?
That sentence and many others like it disappeared upon (yet another) revision.
Live and learn, right?
Beautiful writing does not equal a good story.
You know what makes a good story?
Substance.
An idea (it doesn’t even have to be a “great” one), crafted into a story written for your specific audience, that plops the reader into the mind of the relatable protagonist, and leads logically and breathlessly from the first plot point to the last, finishing with a satisfying ending that makes the reader happy to have spent time with your book.
Audacious screes of gulls?
Save that for poetry or literary fiction—possibly even very lyrical picture books (if you get rid of “audacious”).
There’s a place for it, but certainly not in a middle grade story.
Kids aren’t going to care about how pretty the writer’s language is.
All they care about is whether or not the story is compelling and more interesting than whatever’s on television or whatever they scroll through on their phones, or leveling up on their video game.
There is SOOOOO much competition for the free time of a child.
Beautiful language isn’t going to win them over.
But a good story stands a chance.
Enjoy your week,
~ Gail
(Tick tock)
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