If you “put yourself out there” in any capacity, you (or is it just me?) compare yourself to what is already out there.

I think that’s human nature.

Wish it wasn’t.

Inevitably, with comparison comes the realization that you are (A) as good as some people (B) better than some people (C) worse than some people.

I believe the rule for comparing yourself to others should be right up there with the rule of never asking a woman if she’s pregnant.

Only one of those comparisons (A) is helpful to you.

The other two, not so much.

Believing yourself to be better or worse than others is quietly corrosive.

If you think you’re worse than others, that just makes you feel badly about yourself.

But if you think you’re better than others, you’ll find there’s no need to stretch yourself and improve.

You may also hear yourself saying of others, “I can’t believe that story got published. It’s crap.” “I can’t believe that person accomplished X. Their work is crap.”

You get the picture.

While it may feel good in the moment to utter those words, it’s a bad habit to get into—even if you’re just talking to yourself.

Why?

Here’s the plot twist.

Because what you’re actually saying is, your crap should be published, too.

And is that really the bar you want to reach?

In a sense, you’re also saying, “My stuff must be worse crap if no one is picking it up.”

Either way, it’s no good for you.

How about trying this instead.

“That story (or person, or fill in the blank) is great, and so am I. It’s just a matter of time for me.”

Now, don’t you feel better?

I didn’t think of this on my own.

I listened to a Mary Kole Good Story Company podcast about it the other day.

Have a listen (it’s quick) HERE.

To be honest, it didn’t even occur to me what I was doing (if I might have ever said something like that—although I admit to nothing).

Keep in mind, too, that the appreciation of art is subjective, and one critic’s crap is another critic’s treasure.

We’re all trying to make a safe place for ourselves, where we can create and do things.

But we don’t need to belittle ourselves or others to build it.

Set a higher bar and stretch.

Your psyche and your creative work will be better for it.

Have a great week, and Happy Independence Day,

~Gail

(Tick tock)

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