I’m veering off course today.

This post—dedicated to my sister and to all the women out there just living life—is intended for mature readers.

Boo, and Happy Halloween!

Halloween was my sister’s favorite holiday for as long as I can remember.

She loved the costumes.

It was always about the costumes for her. (Never the candy. That was my thing.)

She loved to dress up and pretend to be someone different.

Whatever was going on in her life, she could dress up on Halloween, become someone entirely new, and her problems disappeared for a while.

Even after she got sick, she loved a good Halloween party.

She was diagnosed with stage 3, ovarian cancer days before her 50th birthday.

Her motto became, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

Cancer made her strong in ways I had never seen in her before.

My motto for her became, “It’s just a diagnosis and statistics. You are not a statistic and you can have a different story.”

And she did.

She lived for more than ten years, far longer than her doctors expected.

She outlasted her first oncologist, four good friends, our mother, our father, and her husband.

She had many treatments, endured many treatments, suffered through treatments, survived treatments.

Until she’d had enough.

She passed away at her home, with her beloved dogs and cats, with me and her niece and nephew and her great friend by her side.

We thought she would let go on Halloween.

It would have been the perfect exit for her.

But, true to form, not one to follow expectations, she died on November 2, 2019.

She was 61 and my best friend.

So that was the frightening story.

Because cancer is frightening.

It’s easy to forget it’s just a diagnosis and that one person’s story, like my sister’s, may not follow statistical guidelines.

I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, nearly refused treatment because of the statistics, but decided to go ahead and give chemo a try.

She’s still thriving, nearly 30 years later.

There is always hope.

Now for the better part of the story.

As with most cancers, there are detectable signs of illness, you can get treatment early, you can rise above the statistics, and you can stick around for the people you love.

Please pass this list along to your mother, sisters, daughters, friends.

These symptoms are found in many other diseases, too, and do not always end in an ovarian cancer diagnosis or other serious diagnosis.

They can even be symptoms of benign issues.

The rule of thumb seems to be that if a woman experiences any of these symptoms for two weeks or more, or the symptoms worsen over a two-week period, seek a doctor’s opinion. (Also, cancer symptoms don’t tend to “get better” or go away and then come back.)

If the doctor is unable to give you a satisfactory answer, request a CA125 blood test (which can show elevated protein markers specific to ovarian cancer).

Be your own advocate.

You know your body.

If something feels “off,” find out why.

Signs and Symptoms:

1. Abdominal pain – You won’t find this in any medical book, but my sister knew there was something wrong when she would drive over speed bumps and feel pain in her abdomen.

2. Indigestion, gas, nausea, heartburn, or other gastrointestinal issues

3. Abrupt loss of appetite

4. Sudden unexplained weight loss

5. Bloating

6. Feeling full quickly

7. Fatigue

8. Shortness of breath

9. Urinary frequency

10. Alternating constipation and diarrhea

11. Vaginal bleeding

12. Menstrual irregularities

13. Pain during intercourse

14. Lower back pain

15. Muscle weakness in hips, shoulders, and neck and/or a violet or red rash on your face, eyelids, knuckles, elbows, knees, chest, or back

Today, on my sister’s favorite holiday, raise a glass (coffee, wine, tea, whatever—even a Snicker’s bar) to Tammy and to all the women in your life.

I wish you all good health.

Happy Halloween!

~Gail

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