Raising Children While Being a Writer
Hello, and Happy Monday.
This post talks about writing goals, but it can apply to absolutely any goal you have—and offers some ways to get you closer to success.
Full disclosure, I only dabbled in writing when I was raising my kids.
I finished my first manuscript about two years before I had my first child, did some freelance writing for a travel magazine/newspaper while I was raising my babies, went on to teach writing classes for kids in after-school program and co-created and taught an author’s workshop for children with a good friend of mine.
Then, crickets.
For a good five years or so.
I always wanted to write.
I always knew I would write.
I just put it off until my time opened up a bit.
Now I have A LOT of catching up to do.
If you are raising children and wishing to write (or work on any personal goal), please be good to yourself and write right now.
Whatever your situation is, make the time to write.
Small, incremental steps that lead you to your goal.
Five minutes a day, ten minutes, fifteen.
Jot down ideas, read the books in the genre you want to write, put words on paper.
It’ll feel good.
And when you get to the point (which will happen sooner than you’d think—it’s a cliché for a reason) where your house is quiet because your children have grown and gone off to college and to careers and, shocker, a life of their own, you won’t be left holding a forgotten teddy bear and not knowing what to do with yourself…because you will have your writing!
Here are some ideas to help you find the time to write or work on another goal:
• Before you go to bed, set the timer on your Mr. Coffee for 5 a.m.
You’ll hear the beeping through your misty sleep, smell the fresh coffee, and pop right out of bed (OK, maybe not right out of bed, but close!).
Write until the dog gets up or the kids get up or whatever is calling you IRL.
• While your kids clean up the dinner dishes and the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of wine (relaxation makes the words flow easier), and head into your space to write.
Write until the kids break something, or your husband needs something, or your dog needs you.
• Do you get an hour for lunch because you work at an office?
For the first 15 minutes, check your emails, play Wordle, check out Instagram, then hop into your story world.
Write until you’ve finished your salad or your boss texts you, or…you get the idea.
• If you don’t work at an office, force yourself to take an hour for lunch.
Do 15 minutes of chores or any of the above, then go into story-writing mode.
Until…you know.
• Take your phone when you go for your power walk.
It’s amazing how many ideas you’ll get when you’re walking along.
When that happens, whip out your phone and text yourself or use Notes or whatever method you use and capture your brilliant thoughts.
• Can you bring your laptop to the library on the weekend or in the evening?
Just get away for a couple of hours.
All those books surrounding you?
Magic.
A caveat: Don’t go crazy, cramming writing into every spare moment.
You’ll become exhausted.
And none of that makes for good writing or a good writing practice.
Begin as you intend to continue.
Have fun.
It’s supposed to be fun.
Right?
By the way, no matter what, you’ll probably still be holding that forgotten teddy bear and wondering what the heck happened when your kids leave.
But that’s a post for another day.
~gail
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Gail,
I was a high school teacher when my sons were in elementary school, so when we were on summer break, I used to have them sit at the dining room table with me every afternoon while I wrote. I knew I wouldn’t get much writing done if I had to worry about where they were in the neighborhood and what they were doing.
When the 3 of us sat at the table and I wrote, they could draw, paint, write, read, or just play quietly. Most of the time, they wrote something, too, and they are both very good writers now. One son is even a professional writer these days.
Hi Suzanne,
What a great memory to savor. I would think your summer ritual would have led both your boys to appreciate quiet time and be creative. Thank you for sharing.
~gail